At Heart
by Oreka
Summary: How can you love someone and yet hate the sight of them? How can you hate someone and crave their companionship? As the final battle looms, Hermione learns what it's like to battle one's outer and inner demons. RWHG eventually HGDM, not compatible with DH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, only the plot line… and possibly the oldest computer known to humankind. (it dates to 3000BC man!)

* * *

Even now, even after all this time, Hermione still found it so hard to look him in the eye. He knew all her secrets, fears and hopes. His metaphysical hand had reached into her heart and extracted a piece of her soul. He had her heart…. He held her heart in his warm, rough… no, his tender hands. Happiness blanketed in sorrow, sorrow blanketed in happiness. That's how she felt when she was with him. Each day, the scales tipped one way or the other, a clear winner never pronounced.

And trust. Most prevalent was the trust. And to say that she trusted someone was no simple feat for anyone, and least of all her. She would die for him in an instant. No hesitation.

But why why why couldn't she look him in the eye? Every time their eyes met, her heart stopped, her breath caught and the blood instantly rushed to her cheeks. She couldn't help herself. She had to look away. Why was this so?

They say the eyes are the windows of the soul. Was she afraid of what she would find in his eyes if she looked hard enough? Was she more afraid of finding nothing reflected back at her? Was she possibly afraid to find a love to match her own longing? Or was it simply the fact that if he looked into her eyes, he would discover her most precious secret. The one she held crushed against her chest.

The secret that she was…. pathetic.

Would he want her after he knew? Would anyone want her if they knew?

* * *

At heart, Hermione was not a sentimentalist, she was a realist. And the reality was, her heart was being broken by a one Ronald Weasley, who _at this very moment_ was mashing his face up against Lavender pain-in-your-rectum Brown's on the common room loveseat.

Hermione looked away, unable to bear the sight any more… she never really could. How could she be so in love with a guy she absolutely loathed to be around. Oh, right, he was always attached to the bloody hip with his cotton brained girlfriend. Not that Hermione had anything truly against her female fellow Griffindor. It's just, did Lavender really have to be such a needy vapid twit. Oh dear, thoughts are getting nasty. Time to leave the luuurve shack that is Griffindor Tower and retreat to her own Head common room.

Yes! Surprise surprise! Hermione Granger: Head Girl. Did anyone else see that coming? Of course you did. No one else in the school would have been willing to take on the strenuous task of having no social life because one is too busy planning patrol schedules, social events, keeping their grades up so that they are a role model to the younger students AND somehow managing not to completely go over the edge due to stress… all while taking ONLY one breath. But considering all that has happened in the past half year, Hermione probably was the only person up for the task right now.

Behind every face in the tiny room she sat in, surrounded by friends, lay a poorly concealed sorrow or heartbreak. With Dumbledore……. gone, it seemed to herald the beginning of a vast evil, spreading it's toxin and sucking the life and happiness out of everyone it touched like some sick twisted greedy dementor. It's name could not even be uttered, because to say it was believed to be an ill omen.

Bullshit!

Hermione has come into direct contact with one or another of it's foul minions many times over the years and was no longer afraid. What is it they say, to fear something is to give it strength. Voldemort voldemort voldemort voldemort voldemort VOLDEMORT!!!

Everyone in the room ceased their strained chatter and stared at Hermione, some were shocked, others were cringing. Only Harry stared back at her levelly. Oop! Hermione blushed. She must have said his name out loud. Well, seeing as this was the perfect time, she stood up and patted her robes straight.

"Well guys, I guess I better get back to my room. Tough luck about the first week of school. I'm positive next week will be better." Ha, no she wasn't.

Hermione walked to the portrait hole amidst murmurs of 'night' from the other Griffindors. _Don't look back, just walk through the portrait hole. You'll regret it if you look back._ Hermione turned around just one more time. Ron was staring at her retreat as Lavender lay her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck affectionately.

"Goodnight everyone." Smooth as ever, controlled as ever, she walked out into the corridor and closed the portrait. Straight backed, she marched down the first flight of stairs leading to the great hall.

Outward, she was a pillar of strength. Inside, she was slowly dying and nobody knew her pain. There are only two people she would ever confide in. The first one, Ron, she couldn't confide in cause he was her problem. The second, Harry, had enough of his own problems without her adding to them. With Dumbledore dead, he lost yet another role model in his life. His growing frustration at finding absolutely NO evidence of where Voldemort is hiding over the summer drove him mad to the point where the adults thought it best if he return to Hogwarts for 7th year for his health.

To say the least, Harry wasn't happy.

To say the most, Harry threatened the Order with mass hexing of doom if they prevented his search for Voldemort's hideout. As a compromise, Professor McGonagall, well…. Headmistress McGonagall started up a floo network in one of the old charms classrooms for Harry's exclusive use. Very complex and extensive wards were used but it seemed to calm Harry down. These days, half of Harry's time was spent in various order member's houses so that he could attend meetings.

And Harry and Ginny.

Hermione thought it was tragic that Harry and Ginny now had so much free time, but they were not allowed to spend it together. She honestly didn't know which was worse. Loving someone you're not sure returns your feelings, or loving someone who loves you back, but you can't be together. Well, he can take solace in the fact that he is doing it for a noble cause, to save her life. That said and done, noble causes can't cradle you late at night when you've had a bad day. Hermione sighed. Oh Harry! So much sadness and you're not yet considered an adult. No one should have to go through what you've had to go through.

Hermione was broken out of her pensive and frequently depressing thoughts by a disturbance in the classroom she was currently passing. She abruptly halted her progress and listened more intently. It sounded like…. Sigh!

Another couple getting a little too hot and heavy.

Honestly, in stressful times like this Hermione couldn't be bothered breaking it up. There seemed to be so little joy left in the wizarding world these days, what with Voldemort returned and she imagined this was the only time this couple could be together. However, it was her duty as head girl to stop it and there were first years wandering about, so she rolled up her sleeves and entered.

"_The door wasn't even locked, why of all the stupid things to forget…… oh my!"_

Hermione turned around and abruptly covered her face in embarrassment and the couple hurriedly readjusted their askew clothing. Admonishing herself for her stupidity in not covering her eyes she watched her fellow classmate and Ravenclaw, Mandy Brocklehurst, rush out of the room muttering something about an early start tomorrow for class. She did not spare Hermione one single glance. Hermione watched her retreat in stunned silence. She was going to have to wash her eyes out once she got back to her room. She even had the nerve to leave before Hermione could dish out the standard punishment.

"Granger." An incredibly irritating drawl issued behind her. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Hermione spun around, instantly annoyed beyond all belief. Raising her eyebrow coolly, she examined her opponent. Mr. Suave-as-you-can Malfoy complete with his own smirk and button operated derogatory comments. Just looking at him made Hermione seriously wonder whether internal human combustion really was possible and if it was triggered by anger. Nah! If that was so, then she would be dead and ashes a LOOOONG time ago.

"Malfoy, Honestly! Doesn't that shiny badge pinned to your oh-so-expensive robes mean nothing to you? You are Head boy and you should start to act like it. And as far as I know, _nighttime liasions_ with Ravenclaws are not on the list of thing you can do while getting an education at Hogwarts."

"Come on Granger, don't start this bull again. How many times do I have to tell you? I don't _have_ any morals so stop trying to impose your pain-in-the-arse anal retentive morals onto me."

Hermione scoffed. "Aww… Someone is a little cranky cause I scared off their snog buddy. Looks like you and your trusty left hand have a late dinner date tonight." Instantly Hermione inwardly cringed. She was on a really nasty roll tonight. Damn you Ron! Watching him and Lavender got her all riled up. Heh, the more evil and currently prevailing part of Hermione's nature was doing an irish jig.

Malfoy : 0, Hermione: 1.

Draco, meanwhile, was staring at the Head girl with a look that can only be described as impressed. With one elegantly cocked eyebrow, he stood up from his lounging position on one of the classroom tables and stalked up to Hermione.

"This Malfoy has never required that particular service and does not intend to start now. Is this your way of saying that you wish to take my partner's place because you know I don't swing that way. Oh, I'm sorry Herman. I keep forgetting that your gender reassignment is complete. Tell me, I'm interested how that whole process has worked so far, what with all the extensive magical procedures you had to do to cut off the, ahem, offending appendages."

Hermione tiny inner demon growled. He was asking for it and Hermione was almost glad at the opportunity to oblige.

"Hmm… you say you don't swing that way and yet, your interest in Brocklehurst would indicate otherwise."

Draco stepped closer, in an unconscious attempt to intimidate Hermione into submission. "So, does this mean you don't deny the fact that you WERE, in fact, born a man?"

Hermione, not one to back down at such severe intimidation, unabashedly matched his cold glare. "Oh I very much deny this accusation. Is this your way of trying to see my 'evidence', because you aren't doing a very good job. I don't take my top off for anyone, least of all you."

Draco sneered. "Don't make me sick. I wouldn't touch you. There's a reason why you are called the dateless wonder of Griffindor, and that is saying something considering you have dropkicks like Longbottom in your house."

Hermione's chest lurched. That statement hurt. Her eyes narrowed to slits. "I would rather be a prude than a man whore. You're a walking talking STD machine." Hmmm… that last statement stank of lame even to her.

Draco was silent and was just staring at her calculating. It was in this interlude that Hermione startlingly realised just how close they had gotten. Enough time passed in which Hermione begun to fidget when Draco suddenly beamed a wolfish smile and looked her up and down.

"You know what, I never thought I would say this but I think it's almost a waste that you're pinning away with desire for the… shudder… weasel. I mean, he's so poor and his family lives in a dumpster. Anyway, whoever tied your knickers in a knot, remind me that I need to thank them."

Hermione spluttered, not only at the sudden mood swing of the clearly psychotic Slytherin, but at his suggestion that he knew anything of her secret love for one of her best friends. Her heart beat faster at the implication that he knew her secret. Anger boiled to the surface and her face flushed a pink hue.

"Oh that is rich coming from you. You know very well that Ron doesn't live in a dumpster. You've been to his house. You even stayed there for two weeks you ungrateful brat. And excuse me, but I ALSO don't believe I consented to you making outlandish claims about me 'pinning' after anyone thank you. Telling people that I'm really a man is one thing, cause let's face it, no one is going to believe you… But I will NOT have you smearing my and Ron's name."

Draco smiled patronisingly and draped an arm around her shoulder as if he were about to explain something both complicated and difficult. He began to lead a frankly shell-shocked and offended Hermione out of the classroom and down the hall.

"Listen kid. You are not fooling anyone. I know you want to have his disgusting munted children, Potty knows, the entire school knows… and I be damned if one day the echo of this fact will penetrate the large hollow cavity of 'dear Wonny's' skull and reach the miniscule dot that is his brain AND…. allowing six to seven working days…. he'll know too. Denial's a bitch Granger, and she really likes you."

By this point Hermione was defensively hunching her shoulders and practically growling. Inwardly, she was screaming. The whole school…. That can't be…. The whole school… He's lying.

"I am NOT in denial! You are a nosy bastard and there will be NO need for touching thanks. Relieve your sexual impotence and frustration somewhere else." She shrugged his arm off her and started walking faster to her room.

Draco began to match her pace, with an almost nauseatingly irritating grin on his face. "Are too in denial. And can you please stop referring to you and me involved in any sort of sexual situation or position. We've been through this. No, I don't fancy you and no, I don't want you to stalk me."

"Am not and please, I wouldn't stalk you even if you held in your arms the only remaining chocolate bar on the planet. Besides, right now you are following me. Therefore, YOU are the stalker. Get your head out of your arse you narcissistic prick." She picked up the pace as she neared the Head's common room entrance.

"Are too, you neurotic headcase." Draco shot back, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Are not, pathetic attention-seeking spoilt brat."

The portrait guarding the Head's common room pouted. "That is not the way to get in… I am not letting you in."

Hermione's eye twitched. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and at the worst possible time. Damn you Murphy and your stupid law! She stopped glaring at Malfoy and glared at the portrait. Staring back at her was a portrait of a very bored looking child with strawberry blond curls and attired in a frilly Victorian-style blue dress. Hermione bunched her hands into fists and sighed in defeat.

"Fine. What do I have to do today?"

The young girl bit her lips in thought. "Ummm… I think you should ummm…. Do a jig. Yes, that would amuse me."

Hermione cringed. "What? Do I have to?" she whined. The portrait nodded with finality, then repressed a small giggle at Hermione's irritated facial expression. Draco grinned like anything at the opportunity for this rare treat.

"You heard the little miss. The jig will 'amuse' her."

Hermione abruptly grabbed her robe lifting it up a little and aggressively stomped her feet about in a fashion that represented more a fit than an actual dance. The portrait fell down in the chair she was sitting on in a fit of giggles while Draco was holding his sides and leaning up against a wall, immobile with laughter.

The portrait swung open and in a fit of rage, Hermione jinxed duct tape to affix itself to Malfoy and the portrait's mouths before storming through the doorway and slamming it shut.

It was times like these when Hermione could understand why some people decide live in caves as hermits. The Himalayas must be spectacular this time of the year. Lots of snow….

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters no mine... no fair...

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Setting up the tent was hard work but eventually, the three kids managed to piece it all together and clamoured inside with their pillows and blankets.

"Oh merlin." Ron groaned. "You didn't tell me this was a muggle tent Hermione. There's hardly any room to move in here and there's no kitchen."

"Well Ronald." Hermione retorted in her biggest know-it-all voice. "Considering my parents are muggles, I couldn't very well get my hands on a wizard tent. Besides, it was your idea to go on this camping trip in order to prepare for the quidditch world cup so you have no right to complain."

Harry laughed good naturedly and adjusted his glasses. "I wouldn't exactly say this as a camping trip. I mean, the burrow doorstep is only 10 metres that way."

Ron huffed. "Yeah well, try convincing my daft mother to let three thirteen year old underage wizards wander into the wilderness and sleep in a plastic muggle tent. Don't think so. Oh, and let's not forget you are the Boy That Lived. I reckon she 'spects He Who Must Not Be Named is waiting behind a bush somewhere to ambush you."

And with the collective thought of a tiny shrivelled up being lurking in the dark wearing camouflage gear and holding a small branch, all three teens broke out in laughter. Hermione snuggled down into her blankets and fluffed her pillow.

"Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep. Your mum's cooking always makes me so tired Ron." Ron looked vaguely insulted with that comment. Hermione smiled with exasperation.

"I don't mean it like that you git. I mean it's so good that I always eat too much. Lots of food makes me tired."

Harry yawned and got under his own blankets on the left side of the tent. "She has a point. I'm tired too."

Ron, who was in the middle, sighed at his two half-asleep friends and decided if you can't beat them, join them. He snuggled down into the large blanket and soon fell asleep, facing Hermione.

It was only later in the night, when Hermione briefly woke up, she noticed that both her and Ron's hands had reached out of the blankets and were resting one on top of the other. She quickly went back to sleep.

* * *

Hermione Granger, student and witch extraordinaire, was NOT a morning person. Waking up and rolling out of bed, she hastily threw on her uniform, brushed her hair, gave up and tied it up in a ponytail. Next was her morning ritual affirmations in the mirror. She repeated to herself one hundred times, "I must, I must, I must increase my bust….."

Ok, fine…. I lied.

Next, it was time to go on the prowl and find her personal god. The life giver. That which she based her entire world around. Only this would satiate the evil morning monster lurking somewhere around her colon. Her salvation.

It was time to find the caffeine. Sweet sweet caffeine.

Lumbering into the heads common room she was met with a most infuriating sight.

Malfoy.

In the common room armchair.

And he was sipping on something hot and delicious looking.

Hermione's inner child abruptly threw a fit. This guy was not worthy to share the awesome joy and delight that was coffee. Therefore, Hermione decided it was her personal mission to save this unfortunate cup from a fate worse than evaporation… a temporary vacation in Malfoy's bladder.

"Oh, it's you." Hermione deadpanned. "You know, we've been living in the same quarters for a week now. You were harder to find than Parkinson's dignity. Now I've seen you twice in two days. Finally sick of looking at yourself in the mirror?"

Malfoy scoffed and took a slow deliberate sip of his beverage. A feral gleam entered Hermione's eyes. "Granger, if this is you're way of buttering me up so you can have a sip of my drink then, may I say, you are doing a _paaa_THetic job."

"What makes you say I want your drink? It has your germs in it." Malfoy replied by moving his cup up and down while Hermione monitored it's every movement.

Sigh. Touché.

Ok, chances of persuading Malfoy to give her the cup was not good. Spoilt brat probably wouldn't lift a hand to save his own grandmother. That's probably not true but lack of caffeine does impede one's reasoning. Wrestle it off him? Nah, coffee's safety is compromised with that course of action. Ok… what if I got some polyjuice potion and some of Professor McGonagall's hair and a hippogriff… that won't work. Running out of ideas….

Wah! I want coffee and I want it _noooooow_!

Malfoy's not-so-subtle coughing brought Hermione out of her internal monologue. "Well, this has been…. Well, horrifying really. If I stay any longer, I'm afraid your _special_ breed of crazy might actually be contagious. Who knows, I could start fancying the Weasel too… and I don't reckon he's a very good shag. It'll be bad for my reputation." And with an abrupt whirl of expensive robes, he disappeared through the portrait door.

Gotta admit, the guy knew how to exit in style. But that wasn't important right now. What was important was that he left his coffee cup on the common room table. Hermione lunged for the cup, eager to be reunited with her one and true love.

Abruptly she recoiled in horror.

Earl Grey…

It was EARL GREY!!!!!

Damn tea drinkers!

* * *

After throwing a frustrated fit and hexing Malfoy's bathroom mirror to say indecent things about his hair, weight and package, Hermione rushed down to breakfast, gulped down two cups of coffee and instantly felt better…. And slightly guilty about the mirror thing. Revenge simply wasn't her bag baby.

"Hey Mione!" Ron and Harry greeted in unison. Honestly, those two were so close these days that Hermione was expecting the engagement announcement within the week. Geh, that's something Malfoy would say. That boy had a baaaad influence on her.

"Hey guys! Nice sleep?" Both nodded in assent as they continued to eat their breakfast.

"That's good." Hermione picked up a piece of buttered toast and started spreading strawberry jam on it.

"So Hermione, what are you doing today?" Harry enquired.

"Well, I know it's only the first weekend of the semester but I have a couple of assignments that could use some…." Hermione trailed off at the look of menace directed at her from her two best friends. Meekly, she continued, "Ahem…. Umm, I thought I might go down and visit Hagrid and see how he's doing?" The glares ceased at this answer.

"What are you both doing?" Hermione asked in turn.

Ron extracted one his hairs out of his scrambled eggs and replied, "Well, me an' Harry are going down to the Quidditch pitch and throw about some new play ideas. Then me an' Lavender were thinking of having a picnic down by the lake." His voice lowered slightly. "I thought it might cheer her up cause she's still feeling down about a certain someone dying. You are welcome to join."

Hermione's heart inwardly contracted. Having a picnic with Ron and Lavender was the very last thing she ever wished to do in the world. "Umm, that's very nice Ronald, but I think I'll have to pass." Ron shrugged and shovelled some more eggs into his mouth.

"Hey Harry, you're welcome to come too. I'll be a nice day."

Harry startled and with one forlorn glance at Ginny, who was sitting a couple of seats down, shook his head. "No thanks mate. Maybe next time."

Hermione well understood his feelings at that moment. Since he and Ginny broke up, Harry probably wished to be a third wheel to Ron and Lavender's outing even less than she did. Something along the lines of being reminded of what you can't have increases the pain. That was Hermione's theory at any rate. She made a mental note to have a bit of a heart to heart to Harry later. He looked like he could use someone to talk to.

"Oi mate. Did you hear they might be releasing a new state-of-the-art broom soon." Ron exclaimed. "It's all very hush hush but I heard that they've installed a really advanced weather shield on it and lots of other real cool stuff."

"Yeah I did hear that rumour." Harry replied. They both instantly launched into a discussion of what they would do if they could invent their own broom brand. Hermione smiled at their light-hearted conversation and took a drink of her pumpkin juice.

Squeezed between her two best friends on the bench, Hermione briefly indulged in the simple pleasure of simply being content and loved and, well, safe.

That was until the morning owl post came in and delivered Hermione's daily prophet. This part of the day always scared the hell out of her.

Hermione sighed and steeled herself to look at the front cover. Most of the time, reading the paper in the morning was the quickest was of finding out if a loved one has been killed during the night. It's quite an awful way to find out, really.

The usual fears whirled through her mind. Would she see anyone she knew on the front cover? Their bodies displayed, oddly unmoving while aurors bustled importantly about on the edges of the picture. And the headline, would it read so-and-so found dead. Ministry suspect death-eaters to blame?

Harry and Ron turned, as they did every morning, to anxiously watch Hermione's face as she hurriedly opened the paper and scanned the titles. After a breath-halting moment, Hermione sighed in relief. Smiling bitterly, she delicately folded the paper as if, with one bump, it could abruptly change it's mind and report something truly horrible.

"No one, today. No one we know."

The whole of Griffindor gave a collective sigh. There was not a person in Griffindor… a person in Hogwarts who did not fear to read that one of their loved ones had been killed by Voldemort and his followers. Even the muggle borns feared for the safety of their families.

Everyone except for Hannah Abbot.

Her entire family was wiped out towards the end of the last semester. It took four teachers and two calming draughts to restrain Abbot when she found out. Merlin, Voldemort even killed her two younger sisters.

They were eight and three.

Hermione abruptly remembered someone else who would not greatly fear to read the Daily Prophet.

Malfoy.

Hermione sighed and looked towards the very empty Slytherin table. Many of the Slytherins were not present this year because their death eater parents considered a 'field education' in the killing arts to be more conductive to their learning experience. Other families had simply decided to go into hiding for their own safety. As it was, the only 7th year Slytherins left were Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy.

All three were currently sitting together, eating breakfast and chatting. They, out of all the 7th year Slytherins, had denounced their parent's death eater ways and had come back to Hogwarts for their last year. Parkinson, who was sitting between the boys, had her arms linked on each side to both the boys and it looked like they were both trying to sooth the concerned look on her face. Parkinson's younger brother abruptly went missing two days ago.

Hermione tilted her head to the side. In this light and at this angle, Malfoy actually looked like a normal human being. Once the sneer was off his face and the cold glint in his eye had faded, he seemed less snobby and more, well, something she couldn't place really.

At times like this, Hermione was offered the rare opportunity to actually step out of herself and view something or someone from a purely objectionable stance. And deep within the teasing, sneering cold exterior that was Malfoy probably beat the heart of a scared and hurting kid. And it was hard to see this kid because he's never let out. He's bottled inside and imprisoned by a giant mental wall.

Hah! Just kidding!

Spoilt attention-seeking cold brat on the outside, exactly the same on the inside. He probably has the emotional range of a munted saucepan. The tiny voice in the back of her head meekly told her that it was unfair to label him in such a narrow category and that he deserves more credit than she was giving him….. But Hermione didn't listen to her.

But enough thinking about Malfoy. She had her own problems to deal with.

Ron and Harry slowly stood up and brushed the crumbs off their uniforms.

"Well, we better get going before it gets too hot and we won't want to play." Uttered Harry. "See you later Herms." He strode down the aisle to quickly talk to Dean Thomas about joining practice.

Ron leant down and placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Listen Hermione, I still haven't seen your common room. I don't envy you having to live with the ferret. Evil git! I don't care what everyone says, I still don't trust him. It was bad enough living with him for a couple of weeks over the summer. Anyway, mind if I come by tonight and take a look? I'll bring my wizard chess board and we'll have a couple of games."

Hermione beamed from ear to ear. "That sounds wonderful Ron. Sure, come over."

Ron beamed back and squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "Okay. I'll come over at nine. I'll see if Harry wants to come as well. See you then." With one final wave, he started striding after Harry, leaving Hermione in a state of almost catatonic euphoria, tinged with a bit of guilty resentment. It's not that she didn't love Harry, but she and Ron had not had time alone since school started. Glancing over at the opposite side of the hall, she caught Malfoy's eye. He had a smile on that did not reach his eyes. And to Hermione, in a brief moment of almost-telepathic clarity, she understood what it meant.

It said, 'You're a pathetic love-sick fool and it is clear as day to me.'

Hermione suddenly felt sick with a feeling that felt very close to self-loathing.

* * *

A/N: Umm... this story is pretty much going to deviate between (vaguely) comical situations, and the more nitty gritty angsty stuff (i'll try not to make it too depressing). I'll try to make all the scene cohesive... not making promises though! ; 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No owning for me...

A/N: I warn you, there is a bit of swearing at the end of this chapter... also angst is a little high for the next couple of chapters...

* * *

Passing his Transfiguring essay to Hermione, Ron visibly sighed and slumped down on the study table.

"Sixth year transfiguring is sooo hard! Hermione, have I ever told you how brilliant, funny, kind, smart, witty and beautiful you are?"

Getting out her correcting quill, Hermione quirked a small smile.

"Not lately Ron."

* * *

"Queen to C5. Annnnnnd checkmate!" Ron leaned back in his chair with satisfaction and placed both hands behind his head.

Groaning, Hermione's forehead politely introduced itself to the table top. "No more Ron…. I think my brain is puddling out of my ears." Sighing, she lifted her head up slightly to look at Ron "What's the overall score?"

Ron looked at the tally sheet. "Looks like I beat you by two games." He smiled modestly.

Hermione blinked slowly and stared him down. "You are enjoying this aren't you?"

Ron's grin took on a cheesy aspect. "Yup!"

Hermione retaliated by throwing her black knight at his skull. They both set about packing up the wizard chess set and a comfortable silence ensued. Once the set was packed up, the pair moved over to the Head common room fire and sat down on the rug before it.

"So…." Hermione began. "Listen, I've been a little worried about Harry lately. I know because I don't live in Griffindor tower any more, I'm not around as often, but I've noticed he's been a little distant lately. Have you noticed Ron?"

Ron shrugged and looked into the fire. "Not really. Same old Harry ain't he? "

Hermione rolled her eyes. Boys are NOTORIOUSLY bad at gauging the feelings of others. Wonder if he would notice if someone hit him over the head with a large herring?

"Come on Ron." Hermione exclaimed exasperated. "This week, he's just not been there. I mean, he's going through the motions but his mind is elsewhere. It seems like the only thing he's interested in these days is finding Voldermort, oh quit it and grow up Ron! Don't make that face! I mean, you asked him if he wanted to come tonight and what did he say? That he was too tired… He's avoiding us. Anyway, I'm just saying, he's lost his spark and he just seems…. Cut off…. I mean…" Hermione's voice dropped. "He broke up with Ginny. I understand, sort of, but…. I don't know…"

Ron sighed. "What do you think Hermione? I mean, people Harry has become close to have a way of getting injured or dying. I understand. Maybe it's just something he has to do in order find You Know Who and end this war. We can't force him to be close to us."

Hermione smiled sadly and gazed at Ron's pensive face. Mentally, she withdrew the herring comment. "I understand Ron, I just wish he would share some of the burden with us. We're his best friends."

Ron shrugged as if to say he didn't know the answer to their problem. Hermione decided to steer the conversation boat to different shores. The evil mini Hermione whispered a rather prying topic in her ear, and she couldn't help herself but to ask,

"So Ron… how are you and Lavender going?"

Abruptly, her heart sped up as Ron's surprised expression turned to face her. A thousand different answers and scenarios whirled around in her head. If you say great I'll die if you say awful I'll do a nude dance in the moonlight if you say nothing I'll bang my head against the wall if you take me in your arms and tell me I'm the only one I'll die if you tell me it's none of my business I'll die oh merlin oh merlin oh merlin….

"Fine. We're fine." Hermione's heart contracted. They were fine. The price of being nosy was that she now had to be the 'caring' friend and ask all the silly details about his relationship when all she wanted to do was crawl under the covers of her bed and cry. But what did she expect? He to tell her that they had an enormous fight that very morning and he came here tonight with the express purpose of ravishing her on the head common room floor…. Well, yes, that would be nice….

"Just fine?" Hermione's eyebrow raised. "Don't get run away reciting love sonnets about the beauty of her visage. I may need a bucket."

Ron's cheeks reddened and he scratched the back of his head. "I mean, it's not like I'm thinking of marrying her or anything. But things are good. I… I like her. I mean, so she's not so good right now, but she's getting better. I'm helping her get better after all the shock of what happened. She's a good companion."

"Oh Ron." Hermione knew the word vomit was coming and couldn't help it. It's not her business! She is not an objectionable source of advice…. Oh hell, that didn't make it any less true. "It sounds like she needs a friend, not a boyfriend. Come on Ron, you can't tell me you are truly in love with her. This can't be healthy for her or you. Don't go out with her just because she needs you. That's not love."

Ron frowned and his cheeks flushed redder. "Hermione, it's my relationship and I know what I'm doing. You just…. You don't understand everything. There's more to this than what you think." Ron readied to leave. "I should go, it's late."

Hermione became distressed. He was mad with her. "Ron, don't. I didn't mean to be so blunt. I'm sorry! Don't be angry!" Her eyes pleaded with him to understand and she stood up to face his retreating back. "I'm just worried about you."

Ron sighed and turned back around. "I know." He hugged her goodbye and whispered in her ear, "I'm okay. I know what I'm doing."

"Okay." She whispered back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Ron nodded and took his leave, waving at her before leaving through the portrait door. Hermione plopped back down and sighed deeply. One crystal notion came to her in the aftermath of that conversation.

I may need him to be there for me through the hard times, but that's not the reason I want to be his. I need him, certainly, but I want him infinitely more. I want him to be there for the good times more than I need him to be there for the bad times. I want to lean on him more than I want to be carried by him. I want him more. More than her….. why can't he see that?

From behind, Hermione heard a pair of hands clapping slowly. Turning around, she predicably saw Malfoy descend the stairs leading up to his bedroom. Hermione reddened. She didn't know he was in his room. How much did he hear?

"Bravo! What a riveting performance. Reminds me of the fairytale about the mermaid who fell in love with a centaur. So, what's the word? Bittersweet…" Draco sat down in one of the armchairs regally and graced Hermione with an eyebrow raise and a sardonic smile.

Okay, so he might have heard the whole thing.

Tears of shame and rage built up in Hermione's eyes but she refused to let them spill over. This bitter pathetic boy wasn't worth her notice.

"I didn't know you were here." Hermione replied, meeting his stare coldly. "Shouldn't you be out bullying first years or finding some floozy to entertain you for the night or whatever it is you do when you aren't tormenting me."

Malfoy's smile took on a bitter aspect. "Yes well, bullying isn't so fun when all your victims do is plead for their lives. I like my prey to go down with a fight. And as for floosies, they don't come by as often as they used to. What with me being ostracised from the Slytherins due to my recent… distaste…. for the dark side. They are… a distrustful group. I don't touch Griffindors on sheer principal, Hufflepuffs are not interesting to me at all so the only house left is Ravenclaw. Most of them are wary but I still have a few connections here and there."

Hermione sneered, disgusted. "Like Brocklehurst I suppose."

Malfoy nodded, evidently pleased. "Yes, like Brocklehurst. The good thing about Mandy is that she's not too fussed about the reputation of the Orchid or how manky the trees look, as long as the apple looks and tastes good. And don't get me wrong, Brocklehurst isn't the only one who likes my apples."

Hermione stared at him as though he has just rolled in a giant vat of garbage. "What are you? A bad romance novel character? 'The girls like my _apples_'… Do you actually hear yourself talk? You disgust me." Hermione turned away from him to go up to her room. Suddenly, she felt tired.

Malfoy got up abruptly and blocked her path. He looked truly angry.

"What the hell Malfoy? Get out of the way!" Malfoy took a step closer to her and Hermione abruptly took a step back, intimidated.

"I disgust you, but you are the one who is disgusting." Malfoy hissed at her. Hermione's shocked face looked up into his enraged one.

"I may fool around a lot but I am truthful about it. I make no promises to the girls I'm with and they understand and accept that. If they don't like it, the fling ends. But you, you hide behind your books, your friends, you holier-than-thou attitude and morals. But you are weak. You are truly weak. You are pining after another girl's boyfriend. And what's more, you are even trying to break them apart so you can have him. Hypocrite! And don't deny it, I heard the whole pathetic thing. You think you were trying to offer him advice but admit it, if Weasel decided to break it of with his boring girlfriend, you would be over the moon. It is THE most PATHETIC thing I have EVER seen! But let's see, he didn't. Why? Because he doesn't WANT you Granger. If he did, he wouldn't be with her, he'd be with you. But he's not with you is he? You missed your chance. But you know what, you just don't get it, do you? So you mope and cry and obsess over it. And you know why you are sooooo in love with him? Because I think, deep down, you just want what you can't have. You thought he would just wait around for you forever? Well, he's moved on. Why haven't you?"

At some point, the dam broke and with a dawning look of pain and horror, twin rivers started flowing down Hermione's face. As if he had only just realised the impact his speech had on his fellow student, Draco's face looked slightly guilty.

"Look Granger, I'm telling you this for your own good."

With one angry sob, Hermione's hand whipped out and slapped him hard on the cheek.

"Don't you DARE fucking tell me it's for my own good! FUCK YOU MALFOY! You don't FUCKING care about anyone or anything. Just because your parent's are dead, it does NOT give you the right to start telling other people what to do. You are NOT MY PARENTS and you are most definitely NOT MY FRIEND! You don't know me and you don't understand shit! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

Hermione then ran to the portrait door, threw it open and disappeared into the corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Yada yada...

A/N: I warn you, there is some swearing and adult themes in this chapter... enjoy!

* * *

Perhaps it was not the wisest thing to do. It most certainly was not the healthiest thing to do, but there it was anyway. Ron and Hermione had snuck a bottle of firewhisky into the Burrow, courtesy of Fred and George, and were getting stuck into it in Ron's bedroom. It was 9pm and to say the least, they were both elegantly tipsy.

Hand shaking, Ron poured out two more shots in the glasses and handed one to Hermione. Amused at the way he was swaying even though they were both sitting on the floor, Hermione repressed a giggle in case anyone else in the house could hear them.

"Okay, okay…. Ahem." Ron announced importantly, waving his glass in the air. "Who's gossss it? Who's gossss it?" He slurred.

"Is mine." Hermione slurred back. "Alright, tooooo….. to Hogwarts, hallowed hall of knowledge and learning. May you never ever ever fade." She nodded to emphasise the point.

"Trust you to use big words when yer pissed." Ron replied, as they chinked glasses together and drank the contents. He poured out two more shots.

"Okay, my turn. To Humple Scorned Snoreklacks… Krumple Corned Loresnacks…"

Hermione giggled. "Be serious Ron."

"I am serious." He defended. "I'm always serious… I'm toooo serious. Okey okey finnnneeee. Don't look at me like that. Alright, to Harry! You should be here right now mate. And if the plan goes to plan… you will be… tomorrow night that is. Merlin, Harry's polyjuice potion has GOT to taste better than bloody essence of Goyle."

"To Harry." Hermione repeated. They chinked glasses and drank.

"To the Order of the Phoenix. A better group of wizards and witches I have never seen."

Ron nodded in agreement. "To the Phoenix!" They drank.

Ron's drunken expression took on a more sombre appearance as he stared out his bedroom window into the night sky. "To…." He faltered. "To Dumbledore." Pause, an invisible shroud blanketed the happy atmosphere and turned it into something fragile and almost desperate. "Best thing ever to enter Hogwarts. I hope…. I hope he's happy wherever he is." Ron stared into the amber liquid of his drink and gave a heavy sigh.

Hermione visibly shuddered, caught up in the moment. There was no chinking of glasses, no smiles, just the tossing back of drinks with finality. Hermione and Ron's good mood had rapidly evaporated.

"To obliterating my parent's memories. Now they don't know I exist." Hermione faltered and tears quickly came to her eyes. Sniffling, she continued. "Good luck…. In Australia. I miss you both soooo much." At the look of dawning horror on Ron's face, Hermione's sniffle turned into one loud sob.

Rapidly, Ron was at her side, hugging her tight and stroking her head. He spoke only two words and it damn near broke her heart.

"Why Hermione?"

Her eyes closed in pain as her tear soaked face angled up to face his. Slowly, fearfully, she opened her eyes, half expecting his face to be a mask of contempt. When she saw only concern, her throat seized up and a wave of sorrow passed through her body. Voice cracking, she replied,

"I'm scared Ron. God, I'm so scared. He Who Must Not Be Named is out there and the only wizard he was ever afraid of is now dead. The last defense… the last defense of the wizarding world now rests in the hands of our best friend. Harry is the only thing standing between us and a fate of racist persecution and veritable slavery at the hands of a psychotic dictator. I was scared for them. Can you imagine what would happen if the deatheaters got a hold of my parents? You can bet they…. God, those monsters would kill them just because they are my parents, the parents of a muggleborn witch. Oh, and let's not forget, I am FRIENDS with the BOY WHO LIVED! Everyone we love is in danger…. How could I not do it?" Hot tears ran down her face.

"Am I a bad person for doing it Ron?"

Ron teared up as he resolutely shook his head. He wiped tears from her left cheek with the pad of his thumb and looked her straight in the eye.

"No. I think you are one of the bravest, most unselfish people I know."

Through the new set of tears that sprang to her eyes, Hermione smiled, and a warm feeling settled into the pit of her stomach.

"Really?"

"Yeah really." Ron smiled back.

As if a curtain had been pulled back, Hermione suddenly realise how close they were. Her heart was beating rapidly. Her cheeks were blushed red that did not wholly come from the fact that she had been crying. She could see the little flecks of dark blue in Ron's eyes. And even though he predominantly smelled of firewhisky, he still smelt soooo good, that musky pure male smell that only guys can achieve.

Ron himself had, at this point, also realised how close they were because his breaths began to come out in short rapid sighs and his large hand stopped wiping her cheek to cup it. Slowly, achingly slowly, their mouths inched closer and closer together. Ron gripped Hermione's waist tighter. So close, rapid heart beat, blue, so blue, closer…..

There was a loud bang on the downstairs door and the spell was broken. Ron's head turned towards the bedroom door in puzzlement.

"Who could it be at this hour? Is it an emergency?"

He disentangled himself from Hermione and walked to the door, peering out. He saw both his parent rapidly hurrying down the stairs in their nightgowns and closed his door again. Turning worried eyes to Hermione, he said,

"We had better go down."

Hermione nodded, all thought on what had just conspired and what had almost conspired temporarily wiped from her mind. He performed a sobering up spell on both of them then the two teens made their way downstairs, meeting a sleepy Ginny on the way.

Standing on the stairs leading up to the second floor, the three watched Mr. Weasley open the door. It admitted a ragged looking Lupin supporting a hysterical Lavender Brown and surprise of all surprises, a dirty, tired and bloodied Malfoy trailing behind. Ron and Ginny raced downstairs to see the newcomers, where Hermione, cautious, stayed back.

As soon as Lavander saw Ron, she gave one loud sob and threw herself into his arms, maintaining a death grip.

"Oh Ron! They….. they….. they _kiiiiiiilled_ her! They wanted me but they _kiiiiiiiilled heeeeer_! I wanna die! God I wanna die!" Wailing loudly, she broke down in fresh racking sobs. Looking supremely distressed and with one distrustful glance at Malfoy, Ron looked towards Lupin to explain.

Sagging visibly, Lupin ran a hand through his mussed shaggy mane. "I discovered a plot while undercover with the werewolves that Fenrir Greyback was after Lavender here because she is muggleborn. Unfortunately, I was too late. The attack was to happen in Diagon Alley. I believe…. Greyback thought it would make people more afraid if they knew they weren't safe even in public places. But, unfortunately…." Lupin halted and a haunted look passed over his eyes.

Lavender finished for him. "He killed Parvati…. He killed her. We…. we just wanted to go shopping and he killed her….. Parvati! Oh god Parvati! She buried her head in Ron's chest and sobbed harder. Ginny gasped and covered her mouth in horror. Hermione grabbed the stair handrail and gripped it tightly. Mr. Weasley put an arm around Mrs. Weasley who was visibly shaking. Bill brought one shaky hand to his scarred face and he and Fleur shared worried glances.

Malfoy, alone, showed no visible distress. Melding into the shadows, he crossed his arms and leant up against on of the walls. At that point, Lupin seemed to remember that Malfoy was there and waved an arm at him.

"Found Malfoy in the same alley that I found Lavender and…. And Parvati in. He was hiding behind a stack of boxes. Said he had escaped the deatheaters. That he no longer wanted to be apart of You Know Who's plans and that he wanted to come with me. He was quite forceful, so I took a chance and brought him here."

Malfoy turned his head from everyone's glare and said nothing. Lupin went on.

"I'm sorry Molly. He didn't want to go to the Ministry and I didn't know where else to bring him. But he has given me his wand and I don't think he means any harm."

Ron snorted and his famous rage boiled to the surface.

"What a load of bull! This is Draco FUCKING Malfoy! If he's not a deatheater then I'm a Hippogriff! I mean, on You Know Who's orders, he conspired to kill Dumbledore. Well, congratulations mate, HE'S DEAD THANKS TO YOU! Oh, almost killed Katie Bell and me in the process. Has everyone forgotten that a mere few months ago, he let in a legion of DEATHEATERS into the school who injured a bunch of people and got Bill's face maimed by Greyback. And now he says that he's changed? BULLSHIT! Evil is in his genes! He's the son of Lucius SODDING Malfoy! The man who's made your life a misery at the Ministry, Dad, and gave a Ginny a POSSESSED diary that almost got her and Harry killed. He's called Hermione mudblood more times than I can count. Him an' his family have brought nothing but trouble to us. I'll bet his precious daddy put him up to this."

Finally Malfoy, who had been quiet throughout this entire tirade, stepped forward and stared Ron in the eye with a steel glare. His eyes flashed with a cold fire.

"There'll be no chance of that. My father is dead. So is my mum. They were killed." There was a pregnant pause and the entire room was rendered speechless. Malfoy looked up and his and Hermione's eyes met. Her eyes were as cold as his, as fathomless as his, her exterior as cold as his. Something strange and unfathomable passed between the two. Eventually Malfoy looked away.

"I want to talk to McGonagall. I'll tell her what you want to know and only her."

* * *

The rapid thumps of leather shoes on dewy grass and the loud panting of her breath were the only sounds prevalent on that clear, quiet night. The wind whipped her tear-soaked cheeks making them cold where the salty trails had ventured down her skin. Her lungs burned and her thoughts, though slightly worrying, were blissfully incoherent. As long as her feet continued to move forward and the wind continued to pass her by, her thoughts continued to be one jumbled beautiful mess.

How long would it take for the jumble to blend into one continuous note of sound?

The most clear and only coherent thought that she could process was that when she stopped moving, all those things that she desperately crowded into the back of her mind would move to the forefront of her head. Every time this happened, it always ended up the same way. Eventually she was going to have to stop.

And this was the single most terrifying thought she had ever encountered.

No option but to keep going.

However, the simple laws of physics and biology had never let her win this battle of wills, and they weren't going to give up now. Eventually the acid ache in her legs and the simple physicality of the giant lake looming before her forced all action to cease. The cold sweat of fear beaded her forehead as she hunched over to catch her breath.

Everywhere and everywhere itched with a scratch that was not physical.

How do you scratch an imaginary itch?

Her mind was too fast. Her body could not keep up.

How can one outrun an imaginary foe that you can neither see nor hear nor touch but you feel in every nerve and fibre of your being?

The serene atmosphere of this large body of water belied the tempest of the teenager's mind. Those thoughts, those base incomprehensible distasteful thoughts were crowding her temples and making their opinions known. The rational part of her mind rebelled vehemently.

_Oh god oh god, I'm crazy. What the HELL am I doing? Please please leave me alone. Oh god Ron I wish you were here. Oh god ron ron ron ron ron. I love you so much why don't you love me. I'm not dreaming. I know you love me. He can't be right he knows nothing. But I am a COMPLETE nut! What will people think, I'm running around like a crazy person. What is wrong with me? God, why can't I just go back into the castle and go to bed this is MAD! No, I can't go back, I don't wanna go back. Please don't make me go back. Please please please! Oh god I'm so scared! What am I doing? I wish you were here right now Ron. Please come! I need you! I want you! I want you more than her can't you see that? Why why why did I let him get to me. He is SCUM! I hate him I hate him I hate him! Why can't he leave me alone. Why did he have to say that? He's lying…. Oh god, no he isn't I'm lying. I'm lying. I'm lying. My life is a fake. I'm an ugly pathetic bookworm freak. I'm self centred. MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW WHO I AM! I'm the worst daughter in the world. All I want is for mum to hug me and tell me she's okay. I hope they're okay. Oh god, Ron. I need you._

Crouching down underneath a tree, she scrunched her eyes up and blocked her ears in a vain attempt to block out the noise. A desperate sob escaped her mouth and before she could help it, another came and another. Her thoughts whirled faster, like a demented merry-go-round. She sobbed until her throat ached and her tear ducts had run out.

And suddenly, like an outer body experience, her mind quieted and she felt light, tingly. And best of all, numb. That blessed feeling of tired magnificent numbness. She lived for this moment. And sitting under that tree, staring at the velvet water of the lake and the diamond-studded sky, a small measure of peace overcame her. She could have stayed there for hours, days. Just staring, not focusing, on the sight before her.

A pair of leather shoes walked up and stopped next to her languid, reposing form.

How long had he been there and what did he see?

They were questions she did not care the least about.

At this point, she didn't care about anything. Staring up at his face, she was no less entranced by the lines and curves of his profile than she was by the lake and the sky. The visitor ran a hand through his ruffled blonde hair and shifted his weight slightly from one foot to the other.

Once, just once, he looked over and met her stare. Oh those eyes. The way their eyes met felt more personal to her than a lover's most intimate embrace. Her numbness acted as a preventative against any feelings of self consciousness and introversion that she might have otherwise felt if meeting his stare under any other circumstance.

She didn't know how to otherwise explain it but the eyes that stared into hers were her own reflection. It was beautiful. Not the same but deeply and metaphysically interchangeable. Dare she imagine, even intertwining.

She blinked slowly. Her voice took on a melodic and dreamy aspect. "You feel it don't you? You feel as I do." An eyebrow raise was all she got that signified that her companion had heard her.

"The barriers, the shells, the situations, they are different. But the outcome, the feeling is the same. I hide behind my books and you your disdain for the world. But you feel it and so do I. You felt it that night when you came to the Burrow and looked into my eyes and you feel it right now. It tears holes in your soul, it tears holes in mine too." She smiled bitterly and looked to the castle sitting on the top of the hill.

"The loneliness. I hate it and yet, it is the only familiar thing I have left. And that is why we both gather it to our bosom and keep it in a death grip even as it tries to smother us." She fell silent as the last intonations of her voice absorbed into the air.

Heaving a sigh and one last look to the horizon, he stuck both hands in his pockets and turned around to face the castle. Their moment was over.

"Come on Granger. Let's go." Was the only thing he said.

He waited for her to blink, twice, slowly get up onto two shaky legs and fall in next to him. They both faced the castle entrance and began walking.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I apologise for the late post. Unfortunately they will be a bit more erratic from now on but I'll try my best to update as promptly as I can. Enjoy!

* * *

Hermione jumped back at the sight of the impressively large and towering Hippogriff. She did trust Hagrid with her life but she really questioned his lesson plans sometimes. Malfoy, the git, snickered at her startle response from behind her and mimicked her reaction comically to the amusement of his Slytherin audience.

Ron, who was also a bit startled, sidled closer to Hermione and placed a hand on her arm. A hot current of electricity shot up her arm at his subtle touch and Hermione suddenly forgot her fear. What was this feeling?

She stared at flaming orange hair on the back of Ron's head in puzzlement. That had never happened before. Her heart rapidly started beating as his hand on her arm tightened slightly as the Hippogriff swivelled their direction. She knew the rapid heartbeat had nothing to do with the Hippogriff.

Hermione shifted slightly closer to her best friend.

He…. smelt nice.

On Hagrid's request, Harry nervously walked up to the Hippogriff and bowed. After one agonising second, the Hippogriff bowed back. Hermione exhaled. Thank god!

Now that the 'danger' was over, curiosity won Ron over and he let go of Hermione's arm to take a closer look. Hermione was now very confused.

What was that? What was going on? She had a theory and she didn't like it one bit. Dismissing it as the result of anxiety of the moment, Hermione also walked closer to the Hippogriff and Harry to get a better look.

* * *

Life in the Head's common room had settled down considerably in the last couple of days. No mention was made of that night by Malfoy and lately he seemed almost courteous. Hermione had recovered enough to feel quiet embarrassed and ashamed that the ferret had not only seen her at her weakest, but had seen enough of the inner shame within her to induce her collapse.

She had half expected him to brag to his friends the morning after about how he had made the Griffindor Head girl break down, and she had mentally prepared herself to deny deny deny for all she was worth….. but nothing. No covert whispering about her behind her back. No concerned friends checking to she if she was alright and whether she wanted to 'talk' about it. No summons to Headmistress McGonnigal's office to discuss the re-evaluation of whether or not she could handle the responsibility of being the Head Girl. No smirks, no knowing glances, no snide remarks from Malfoy at all. In fact, he seemed to barely look at her at all. And when he did, though his expression was unreadable, it certainly wasn't mocking.

Nevertheless, her inner shame was such that he was the very LAST person she wanted to talk to.

Sadly, her new resolution of silence did not prevent Malfoy from talking to her.

Thrumming her fingers against her book bag, Hermione leaned against the wall outside Potions class and waited for the rest of the students and Professor Slughorn to show up. Considering how many students that had left school over the summer, the Potions class, and pretty much every other 7th year class, was considerably smaller. With Seamus Finnigan withdrawn by his mother from Hogwarts, Hermione, Ron and Harry were the only Griffindors left in the class.

Next to her Terry Boot from Ravenclaw and Ernie Macmillan from Hufflepuff were talking quietly. Just at that moment, Malfoy rounded the corner and leaned up against the wall space next to Hermione.

Great.

Hermione scowled and crossed her arms in front of her chest. If he so much as looked at her funny she was going to go psycho on him Muggle style… with a sawn off rifle.

"Bloody hell Granger. If you make that face too much then it's going to stick that way….. and then you'll look like you just snogged the giant squid for the rest of your days."

Damn it! Ok, so she didn't have a rifle. Oh! But she does have a wand…..

With a casual flick of her wand, Malfoy cornflower locks turned a hideous shade of fluorescent purple. The other two students in the corridor turned around and stared at him. A disgusted look crossed Malfoy's face and with a flick of his wrist, it was back to its normal colour.

"Is there something you want Malfoy?" Hermione asked casually, flicking a piece of invisible lint off her robes.

"I don't know Granger. Why don't you tell me? You are the treasured whiz kid in this school after all." Malfoy replied, grinning infuriatingly.

"Hermione won't be telling you anything Malfoy. So why don't you sod off?" Ron replied for her. Like two knights in shining armour, minus horses… and the armour… well, you get the idea… Ron and Harry had rounded the corner of the corridor and came to the rescue of Hermione.

Malfoy sneered. "Is it just me or did the air around here turn sour. I know your dour girlfriend likes the scent of tacky cheap cologne Weasel, but must you really marinade in it?"

Ron eyes narrowed into slits and he gripped his wand tightly. "Think you're so smart Ferret? Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?"

Malfoy and Zabini, who had just turned up, scoffed. "Do you even know what money is? Judging by your substandard robes I guess not."

Forget wands, Ron was going for the jugular. Harry grabbed him and tried to restrain him.

"He's not worth it mate." Harry reasoned. "Forget it."

"Yeah Weasley, listen to your girlfriend." Malfoy jeered after.

Harry, Hermione and Ron decided to escape the idiot and enter the classroom rather than respond.

Ack! Damn you word vomit! Hermione couldn't help having the last word.

"Malfoy, you're a real wanker you know." She said over her shoulder snidely. His answer was a sardonic smirk and a wink.

"And so…." Professor Slughorn concluded. "Today we are **not** going to learn how to make behaviour modification potions, but their_antidotes_. I will be splitting the class into three groups and you will collectively make three potions. Can anyone tell me what the_Consilium_ potion is?" Slughorn looked towards Hermione and Harry with an expectant smile on his face. Unfortunately Hermione's mind was a blank and Harry didn't look like he knew either.

"It's the suggestion potion." Malfoy drawled from the back of the room. The entire class swivelled around to look at him. The Professor looked quite stunned that that someone other than his star pupils had answered. A dark cloud passed over Slughorn's expression, but as rapidly as it came, it passed and he was his cheery self again. It appeared that even the teachers were not immune to the effect of rumours. And the rumours surrounding Malfoy's involvement in Dumbledore's death and his subsequence 'acquittal' from the dark side was simply rife with outrageous and varied speculation.

"Very good Malfoy. Five points to Slytherin." Slughorn praised. "Now for an extra five points can you tell me what the uses and symptoms are of this potion."

Malfoy looked like he was really enjoying the unexpected attention as he leaned back in his seat and shrugged. "It's very similar to the_Imperius_ Curse in that the person who drinks the potion will do whatever they are told. It's a Prohibited Potion and one of the few potions that requires specific Ministry approval in order to reproduce. It's difference from the _Imperius _Curse is that the drinker is fully conscious of themselves but they are highly suggestible. They won't obey one person's specific command but any command they hear from anyone around them. Also, if the drinker's will is strong enough, they can choose not to obey more… undesirable commands."

"Very good! Five more points to Slytherin." Slughorn praised, stroking his sliver walrus moustache. "We'll be making the antidote for the _Consilium_ potion, as well as the _Simuler Amour_ potion, more commonly known as the infamous love potion." Ron shuddered. He could still remember accidentally falling prey to that potion last year and falling 'in love' with Romilda Vance. Harry grinned at him. He knew they were both sharing the same memory.

"Finally, we will be making the antidote for the _Somnium Atrox_ potion. The Nightmare potion. This potion makes the drinker experience terrible nightmares and saps their will to live." Harry scowled. He had no doubt in his mind that the very same potion was the stuff Dumbledore had to drink in order to obtain the fake Slytherin horcrux in the cave last year.

"Let me stress class, the nightmare and suggestion potions are not permitted to be reproduced in any form unless you have ministry approval, so it is very important that if you are ever, intentionally or unintentionally poisoned by one, you have the necessary know-how to combat the poisoning. In these uncertain times it always pays to be on your guard." The three Griffindors looked at each other uncertainly. The looming war against Voldemort and his followers were fast permeating the different facets of Hogwarts life. The time of feeling safe within Hogwarts grounds were soon to be gone.

"Okay class. Let's split up into three groups and get cracking. There will even be a prize for the select individuals who impress me the most with these antidotes." Professor Slughorn clapped his hands with glee and the students got to work.

"Okay, time is up. Put down your wands students." Slughorn bustled about the room to check on the progress of all three antidotes. Hermione breathed out and wiped the small amount of perspiration on her brow. With all the cauldrons lit and the room being so small, even down in the dungeons, the temperature of the room had significantly risen.

Her group had made the antidote for the Nightmare potion, and that was no mean feat, considering her three workmates were Zabini, Ron and…. Sigh, Malfoy. The professor's choice, not hers. She was surprised they managed to get through the potion at all. While Malfoy and Ron engaged in a never ending verbal pissing match the ENTIRE time, Hermione and the very unsettling Blaise Zabini practically had to finish the antidote themselves. He was almost co-operative except for the fact that the dark, silent Italian kept staring at her like…. Well, like a piece of lamb, and he was the big bad wolf. Creepy!

And he was leering… what is he, some sort of cartoon villain here to ravish the unsuspecting virgin?

Well, at least the end results of the antidote were encouraging. Their potion was a bright gold colour and smelt pleasantly of flowers and musk.

Slughorn waltzed over to their table and peered into their concoction. "Excellent! Very good! I think we have found our winners." Ron and Malfoy ceased their actions of trying to conjure bat wings onto each other's heads and paid attention.

Boys! Only listen when the concept of prizes were on the table.

"Well, I'll have all four of you up here at the front of the class so you can receive your… eh… 'prizes'." Hermione reeeeeally didn't like the glint in Professor Slughorn's eyes but hurried to comply with the rest of her group.

Slughorn handed out one vial to Hermione, then handed Zabini three more vials.

"Alright then." Slughorn clapped his hands. "I'm afraid, Zabini, that you have somewhat drawn the short straw. You will be in charge of the antidotes. Now Miss Granger, would you kindly swallow the contents of your vial and we will observe the changes."

Ooooh….. baaaad feeeling….

Nevertheless, Hermione was never one to directly disobey the instructions of a teacher so she uncorked the lid and drank the contents. It tasted like liquorice. A warm feeling pooled in her stomach but apart from that, there was no visible change in her demeanour. She looked towards the professor in confusion, as did the rest of the classes.

She suspected that some of them wished she had turned into a blast ended skrewt or something. Okay, well just Malfoy and Zabini. Vile creatures.

"So Miss Granger, how do you feel?" Slughorn enquired.

She shrugged. "Fine I guess. I feel a little warm around the stomach area but otherwise, nothing seems different."

At this point, Malfoy couldn't help putting his two cents in, being the self centred attention seeking git he is. "Come on sir. You should have turned her into a blast ended skrewt or something."

See! What did I tell you?

Hermione sneered at him. "Well, if you're lucky enough, mayhaps you hold the lucky blast ended skrewt potion. I dare say it would be a pleasant change." Several of her classmates sniggered and Ron out right laughed.

Mafoy didn't like being laughed at and his expression turned sulky. "Bite me Granger!"

With lightning speed, Hernione seized onto Malfoy's arm and bit down reasonably hard. Hermione looked about as shocked as he did.

Hermione covered her mouth in horror. "What the devil?"

Slughorn smiled magnanimously. "Ah yes Mister Malfoy. Do be careful what you wish for. Miss Granger, as you now might have guessed, is under the effects of the _Consilium_ potion, or the suggestion potion."

Hermione's look of horror intensified. She positively HATED not being in control of her own actions. However, Malfoy's look of pain slowly changed to mischief.

Not good not not not good…..

"Now Granger, it's not nice to bite people. I'll forgive you if you say you are sorry and acknowledge that I am the smartest and most and devastatingly handsome wizard in this institution." Malfoy crossed his arms with a look of triumph on his face.

"You are sorry and acknowledge that I am the smartest and most and devastatingly handsome wizard in this institution." Hermione parroted back. The rest of the class laughed and Malfoy began pouting again. Suddenly, Hermione was bombarded with orders from her fellow classmates.

"Touch your toes."

"Pat Potter on the head."

"Hey Hermione, you're hair is on fire."

"Tell Malfoy he's a daft bugger."

"Hey Granger, pretend you're a Hippogrif."

"No pretend you're McGonnigal. You'd do that so well."

Hermione adjusted the imaginary glasses perched on her nose and gave Ron a baleful glare. "Yes Mister Weasley. Trust you to go for the most mundane and predictable request."

Ron stepped away from Hermione in mock horror. "The image. The very image…." He moaned theatrically.

The professor sent sparks up from his wand to quiet the class. "Yes, I think that shall be enough for now. Granger, I allow you to be yourself. However, I will require a strand of your hair if you would comply." Hermione jerkingly plucked a hair out of her head and handed it to the professor. He then proceeded to uncork another vial and placed the hair inside, giving the vial a shake once he had recorked it. He handed the vial to Malfoy.

"Bottoms up Mister Malfoy. It's your turn."

Malfoy made a face. "I'm not drinking something that has the bookworm's germs in it." Nevertheless, after a moment, he shrugged non-commitally and opened the vial, draining the contents.

After one breatholding second, it appeared as though the potion also had no effect on Malfoy but then he shook his head and blinked twice, as though in a daze. Slowly, oh so slowly, he turned his head to stare intently at Hermione. A slow, almost predatory smile crossed his face.

"Granger." He purred.

Hermione shrunk back slightly and looked a little terrified. Predatory glares are never never good in her books.

"Granger." He purred again and slowly advanced towards her.

"Epp! Get away from me Malfoy!" Hermione stumbled on a chair leg and Malfoy was instantly by her side, making sure she didn't fall. He brushed imaginary dirt off her arms which Hermione was ashamed to say, sent shivers down her spine.

"Oi Malfoy. Get your hands off her. She obviously doesn't want you to touch her." Ron yelled, striding up to break Hermione from the clutches of the Slytherin.

Malfoy snarled and his grip on Hermione's arm firmed. "Back off Weasel. You are not worthy to be in her presence, you make her unhappy. Go and annoy your own girlfriend." Hermione gasped and Ron stopped in his tracks and glared at Malfoy.

Hermione hated to admit it, even if it was only to herself, but Malfoy's statement did ring a little true. Ron did make her unhappy sometimes. Malfoy turned around and faced Hermione. Seeing as he had backed her into the corner of the classroom, only she could see the tiny little smile that graced his face at the sight of her.

He inched closer and placed one warm hand on her cheek. Hermione gasped and her eyes widened at the insanity of this situation and the intimate touch of another person, who would ordinarily rather hex her than touch her. It reminded her of the night by the lake.

Except, this intimate moment was decidedly more…. Hormone ridden.

The whole class seemed to be in a trance, watching this impossible event. No one moved.

"Hermione." Malfoy whispered lovingly. His other hand made it's way to her waist and rested just above her hip.

Oh god, he used her name. Her heart beat up as his face inched ever closer to hers. What WAS he doing? By now, she figured he was operating solely under the effects of a love potion.

He…. smells nice….

"Hey Granger." Zabini called from the other side of the room. "Kiss Draco."

Hermione body lurched forward and her lips briefly made contact with his. She quickly pulled back and grimaced. With lightning speed she escaped his clutches and made a beeline for the other side of the classroom.

As faaaaaar away as she could.

Malfoy turned around with a hurt look on his face. Hermione tossed an angry look at the smarmy italian who made her do it….. while hiding behind Harry. HE made her do it and he will PAY. She didn't know how but she was sure a honey pot, a shovel and several thousand flesh eating ants were involved.

Slughorn chucked. "Ah, the course of true love never did run smooth. I'm afraid we are out of time, so we shall leave it there. Sadly Mister Weasley will not be able to test out the nightmare potion I had given him." Ron looked positively euphoric. "Mister Zabini, the antidotes. The green one for Miss Granger, and the clear one for Mister Malfoy, before he dies of misery." Slughorn winked at Harry, obviously remembering the time Harry had brought a love sick Ron to his office.

Hermione snatched her bottle from Zabini and downed the contents quickly. The warm feeling in her stomach was doused with a cool rush. Thank Merlin! Malfoy looked at his vial as if he didn't quite know what to make of it. Then he stared at Hermione with puppy dog eyes.

"Oh god, how pathetic." Hermione mumbled to herself. Looks like he wasn't going to drink it without her help. Anything to stop the pouting.

"Malfoy, if you drink it, I'll sleep with you." Hermione yelled at him as she and her fellow classmates packed up their belonging to leave for the next class. A couple of people stared at Hermione as if she had grown another head. The Head Girl NEVER said things like that.

Frankly, she just wanted out of the classroom.

Malfoy's eyes lit up. "Okay." He happily uncorked the bottle and downed the contents. Hermione didn't stay to see the end product of THAT experiment. She stormed out of the classroom, wiping her mouth of that illicit and coerced kiss.

Honestly, she was 99.99 sure that there was a positive correlation between Potion teachers and Sadism………

Oh god…. She just kissed Draco Malfoy….

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I disclaim in the name of her majesty, the Queen!

* * *

Consumed with a vindictive fire, Hermione stormed down the castle lawns, heading in a vague direction. Any direction. She really didn't care. Despite the fact that tears were leaking out her eyes, inside she was aquiver with suppressed rage.

How…. Dare…. He….

That's it. The only way to explain it was that he's a stupid git and he was dropped on the head as a child. That is the only way to explain the fact that she just saw Ronald Weasley and Lavender Brown lip locked in the corner of the common room.

Boys!

She'll never understand them and she was starting to think she never wanted to. First, he was mopey and whiny for WEEKS! Then, he gets mad at her over that STUPID misunderstanding about the Felix Felicis and the Quidditch game. NOW! Now he goes and gets involved with Bloody Lavender. Talk about temperamental!

He must be on his man period.

Well, at least she got her own back. Those canaries looked harmless but their claws certainly weren't. He'll be supporting a lovely scratched face for a long time yet. Walking around the school…. Maimed… because of her….

Damn it! Now she felt a little bad about it.

Sighing, Hermione slowed down and found herself on the edges of the Quidditch pitch. Really, at night with no one around, it really was quite peaceful. Well, except for the one lone flier sitting on a broom at the top of the stadium. All she could see was a black blur, and even that intruder seemed like they belonged to the ambience of the deserted pitch. Her rage rapidly deflated and she was now left feeling quite depressed about the entire thing.

So…. Ron now had a girlfriend.

Hermione felt nauseous….

* * *

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose, just between her eyes. The mother of all headaches was upon her and she was one of those people who believed that simply taking a headache-be-gone draught was a quick fix solution to a problem that should not have happened in the first place. The simple truth is that she was still not in the full swing of her usual evening study crams in the library. And now her head was holding it's very own rehearsal for a twenty-four piece bass drum orchestra. But, at least her work was finally done for the night.

Hitching her bag strap more securely on her shoulder, Hermione turned the corner as if she had somewhere very important to be and had to be there five minutes ago. But then, that was the way she always walked.

Look, if she really wanted to be truthful with herself, this time of night made her feel strangely anxious. Hermione always filled her day. From the minute she woke up in the morning, there was a schedule. Dress, eat, go to class, study. But the time between finishing her study for the night and the time where she actually felt sleepy enough to go to bed, there was no schedule.

This time of night was simply not productive. Hermione liked being productive. Being unproductive was simply not a good thing. Didn't everyone know that she had standards. And when one is doing nothing, how can one achieve all one's own goals in life?

Try as she may though, things were simply not working the way she had planned. Every year previous to this year, she lived by that schedule and it had worked for her. She got top grades, she was an active member of the student council. Hell, she even had time to help Harry combat the evil forces of Voldermort and his merry band of Deatheaters.

What changed?

All this year, she felt off. So many problems now crowded her mind and suddenly, her single-minded determination and concentration was thrown off. She couldn't cope with the pressure. She mentally ticked off the list of things that now vied for the top of the list of things that worried her.

1. Helping Harry find and destroy all the Dark Lord's horcruxes, then helping find Voldemort himself, kill him and throw all his followers in jail,

2. How her parents were coping now that they had set up permanent residence in sunny Australia. Were they okay? And even though their memories had been obliviated, did they miss her?

3. Her love for Ron, and all the intricate problems that being in love with a best friend and boyfriend to another girl presents,

4. Being Hogwarts Head Girl, a top position job that she probably has to shoulder herself, seeing a Malfoy was probably going to be NO help at all,

5. On the subject of Malfoy, him and his crazy attitude thus far. Having to live with him and his antagonism, strange mood swings and the unsettling and odd connection between them. AND…. they kissed…. AND he had seen her at her worst and most vulnerable,

6. Her mental breakdowns. Something that had thus far being isolated and infrequent events. But they were getting more frequent, more worrying and less ….private ….now that Malfoy knew something of them. How long would it be before he told someone else?

7. And her studies. Her bloody studies. They just didn't seem important any more in the wake of all that was going on around her. During her library study stint, she had spent half an hour staring at a paragraph on invertebrate transfiguration in her textbook and took not a single word in.

She sighed and made her way to the Astronomy tower to meet up with Ron and Harry. Harry had called a meeting to brainstorm ideas about where to find the Horcruxes and Hermione had a virtual plethora of research books in her bag. They were going to get to the bottom of the R.A.B. fake locket mystery, even if it killed her. And it probably would if they didn't find these Horcruxes soon.

* * *

Hermione laid sprawled on the Astronomy Tower floor and absently sucked on a sugar quill. Next to her, Ron and Harry were discussing the possibilities of whether there was or was not a Voldemort Weapon of Mass Destruction hidden in the girl's dormitory of the Griffindor Tower.

"Well, I say it could be there. I mean, we can't go in there and see and we wouldn't even suspect that one would be there. If I were He Who Must Not Be Named and uglier than a squashed toad's backside, that's where I would hide it." Ron fixed Harry with a determined look.

"And like I said." Harry retorted in a restrained tone of voice. "You are full of it mate. You just want an excuse to go in there."

Hermione rolled her eyes and blew a stray curl out of her eyes. The whole thing started when Ron, the bright spark he was, had suggested THAT he read in a mystery solving book once THAT all the truly diabolical villains left trophies and evidence of their crimes where the 'crime solvers' could see them. Something about 'hidden in plain sight'. From there Ron had suggested more and more ridiculous places that Voldemort could have hidden his Horcruxes (Hermione's personal favourite suggestion was that one could be hidden in Harry's ear… and yes, Ron did check…. Evil bits of earwax, no evil bits of Voldie's soul). Well, at any rate Hermione was fed up and curfew was about to begin.

"Look Ron, if I PROMISE to look in the girl's dorms under the pretense of looking for contraband items, can we move on?"

Ron's face lit up. "That's right, you have to do stuff like that as Head Girl don't you? I knew there was a reason we're friends." He grinned impishly.

Hermione controlled the rivaling grin that was fighting to be free on her face and pretended to look offended.

"Yes well, let's get back to the list shall we?"

Harry sighed. "Yes. We should. What has been written down so far?"

Hermione perused the list she had jotted down thus far from their meeting and read it out aloud:

Horcruxes:

1. Tom Riddle's Diary (Destroyed by Harry by basilisk's fang, 2nd year)

2. Malvolo's ring (Destroyed by Professor Dumbledore)

3. Nagini (Volemort's snake, destroy last to preserve the element of surprise. Voldie not know we are after the Horcrux)

4. Slytherin's necklace (missing??? RAB??? Research needed)

5. Helga Hufflepuff's cup (missing, Tom Riddle took it, poss. in Borgin & Burkes where he worked, though unlikely)

6. Something of Rowena Ravenclaw's (more research needed)

7. Seventh Horcrux (??? Poss. options something of Godric Griffindor's or something Voldemort treasures… 'trophy' of some sort?)

Places they could be: 

Riddle's Orphanage

Borgin and Burkes store (Riddle's first job)

Ministry of Magic (?)

With a loyal Deatheater follower

Godric's Hollow (place of his downfall)

Grave site of mother (unlikely because he didn't like mum + used her necklace as a horcrux)

Hidden in plain sight (i.e. in Griffindor girl's dorms)

Hermione frowned at the last suggestion given by Ron. Somehow, something was niggling at her conscience about that sentence. Her eyes narrowed. What was it? She abruptly hushed the boys, who were discussing the list in muted whispers. They looked up at her enquiringly.

Haltingly, she spoke. "Listen, maybe Ron's suggestion about hiding something in a 'close to home' place is not so far fetched." Ron looked pleased with himself and shot a self-satisfied smirk Harry's way.

Hermione continued. "Well, think about it. Maybe Voldemort really did hide something at Hogwarts. As much as you loathe him Harry, you and he have something in commons. Both of you are orphans and grew up in horrible places. Both of you call Hogwarts your first real home."

Harry instantly coloured. "Hermione, Don't even think of suggesting that I have anything at all in common with that monster. He's the one who made me an orphan after all."

Hermione looked dismayed and rushed to apologize. "I am sorry Harry. I don't mean it like that. You are NOTHING like that bastard, and don't even think for a second that I or anyone believes that." The fact that the Head Girl had swore on Harry's behalf was more of an apology than the rest of the words had been. Harry smiled his acceptance of the apology.

"Anyway." Hermione concluded. "My point is this. If Voldemort called this place home, and even wanted to become a teacher here, wouldn't it be a logical conclusion that he would hide a piece of himself here." Ron looked triumph, which caused Hermione to add to her hypothesis.

"Well, probably not quite in 'plain sight'. It's not going to be the sorting hat otherwise Professor Dumbledore would have found it and destroyed it already." Ron deflated and sulked a little while Harry looked quite swayed at Hermione's suggestion.

"You know, you may have something there Hermione." Harry grinned and Hermione grinned back. Merlin, when was the last time Harry smiled like that?

"I guess kissing gits like Malfoy doesn't scramble your brains after all." Ron abruptly started choking violently and Hermione flushed a brilliant red.

Honestly, you kiss your greatest adversary in potions class and you never live it down. Word of the wise, learn from my mistake people.

"Ugh! Don't even remind me." She admonished Harry, while glancing quickly at Ron to see his reaction.

"Yeah!" Ron mumbled. "I'd like to keep my dinner down if that's okay with you." Harry grinned in the wake of his discomforted best friends.

"Personally, I'm surprised that word hasn't spread about the school yet." Harry mused. "I would think that the ferret couldn't wait to tell everyone about his brief love infatuation with the Griffindor Head Girl."

Hermione scoffed as she transfigured her notes on the Horcruxes to look like blank parchment and stuffed them in her bag. "Oh, it spread far enough. Ginny…" Quick glance at Harry. " …ummm accosted me in the Charms corridor before dinner and demanded details. Where, when and um… consistency… whatever that means. Frankly, I would like to forget it ever happened. Think I might be able to obliviate the memories of everyone in the school?"

Sigh! If only….

"Well, Mione. If he gives you any more trouble, you just tell me and I'll sort him out for you." Ron punched his hand for extra effect.

Hermione's eyebrow raised. "Well, Ronald, as another helpless female, I'll keep that in mind. Seriously, I have a wand and I know how to defend myself."

"Even so." Ron replied gruffly. "I don't trust him. He's been acting awfully funny towards you lately. You know, I don't think he's called you the 'M' word once since he showed up at The Burrow this summer. He's still a horrible sneaky git to me an' Harry but he's almost pleasant to you lately. The ferret's up to something."

Hermione smiled slightly. It almost sounded as if he was jealous. That thought should not have made her so happy.

"I agree." Harry supported thoughtfully. "He's changed somehow last summer. I can't place it though. He may have turned over a new leaf and wants to fight for the light side but you had better be careful of him anyway Hermione. Last year I suspected he was up to something and I was right. He might be trying to pull the same wool over our eyes."

Hermione sighed and smiled sufferingly at her paranoid boys. " Look, if Professor McGonnigal trusts him enough to make him Head Boy, that's good enough for me. Why don't you both concentrate on the real problem at hand, beating Voldemort. I'll do more research for the list and you two concentrate on how to search the different locations for them. Meet again next week?" Both boys nodded.

"Great! I'll see you both tomorrow then for classes. May I remind you that our Charms essays are due."

Twin groans accompanied Hermione's exit.

* * *

Wiping spaghetti from her forehead (another one of the Entrance portrait's insane tasks… that girl was going DOWN!), Hermione achingly stumbled into the room and dumped her heavy bag on the floor. Groaning, she tenderly rubbed the sore muscles of her shoulders.

Forget the evil heavy school bag of doom…. Needed: one heavy dosage of bed stat!

Hermione turned and headed for her… what… the …devil…?

The common room area leading to her bedroom was completely bare. The sofas, the desk, rugs, tapestries, the odd shaped hat stand that looked like a bunch of money arms coming out of a hairy tree trunk… not there. And a blaring thick red line dividing her side from Mal…

…Oh! Okay, stop looking everyone… she found her stuff…

There was Malfoy, sitting quite comfortably in an armchair reading a book (oddly enough he was pulling a Loony Lovegood, because the book cover was upside down). Surrounding him was all the furniture IN THE ENTIRE FREAKIN COMMON ROOM! All on HIS side of the room, may I add. It resembled something similar to an eccentric old lady's garage sale.

Oh, fer merlin's sake, there was even a giant stuffed marlin fish stuck on a board back there that she had never seen THAT before in her life. It was wearing a Christmas hat!

Trying out her most intimidating, authorative pose, Hermione stuck her hands on her hips and tapped her foot on the ground briskly. When that elicited no response from her unaccommodating roommate, she burned a hole in his head with her glare and coughed abrasively.

One eyebrow raised…. Then an eye… the book lowers…

"Granger." Malfoy drawled. "How nice of you to join us. Pleasant evening?"

Hermione cocked her head slightly to the side in mock confusion. " What do you mean 'join us'? Do you mean the voices in your head because that'll mean I'll have to look for a new place to live."

Oop! Was that a falter in the smirk? Naughty Hermione! A man's ego is his most prized possession… heh heh heh….

"Au contraire mon amour! It is you whose sanity is now in question." Malfoy replied archly and slowly placed his book on a nearby table.

Hermione restrained the desire to ask him what the hell he was on about. Malfoy was a straight and narrow egotist and he was right in his element. Asking what he was on about is what he would want her to do.

"What the hell are you on about Malfoy?"

Oh bravo Hermione! Talking about sticking to your guns. Mini conscience Hermione was giving a rousing applause. That's it! Keep clapping and I'll pour vodka in my ear. Let's see how many brain cells are left after THAT! Oh, Merlin, this is no time to be turning on oneself. Must be strong in the face of adversity…. Hmm, maybe he's right about the crazy thing… this can't be normal…

"Granger?"

"Wha?" Hermione replied oh-so-smartly. Internally, she told conscience Hermione that they would talk later. Malfoy was looking a little bemused and irritated at her,

Hah! Rich boy doesn't like being ignored does he?

"Merlin, you really are loopy aren't you?" Malfoy exclaimed snidely. He stood up and strode over to Hermione purposefully. "Look, you're an alright bird and all… sometimes… but frankly, I don't feel comfortable with you being around me or my stuff too much. I removed the furniture from your side of the common room for your own good. I wouldn't want you to spontaneously start snogging something I have to sit on later."

Hermione's eyes narrowed to slits. So that's what he was on about. That damned kiss in potions. Once again, her power to annihilate people with her icy cold glare had deserted her. Hermione rose to the challenge and stepped closer to Malfoy.

"Oh that is rich! At least I'm not the one who had a five minute infatuation with the girl I've affectionately called 'Mudblood' these past seven years. I'll bet your school chums didn't hear that part of the story." Hermione suddenly felt like a cat that had been rubbed against the fur.

"They may not have, but they did hear the part where you offered to have sex with me if I drunk an antidote. When shall I expect a payout?"

"Never!" Hermione hissed.

Malfoy pouted slightly and replied offhand, "What a shame." He looked her up and down. "You really do need the experience. Well, if you change your mind… you know where I live…" Another infuriating smirk.

Hermione blinked. What the hell was going on? Was he actually flirting with her? Ladies and Gentlemen, I officially welcome you to the Twilight Zone.

She snorted to cover up her sudden uncertainty and confusion. "Yeah well, don't hold your breath pretty boy. Merlin, is that all you men think about, Carnal relations? I'm surprised there's room for anything else in that brain of yours."

Malfoy's head leaned closer to hers, so close that she could feel his breath on her neck. His voice whispered seductively in her ear. Rich tenor timbre. "You would be surprised what I could teach you Granger. You only need ask."

Hermione's heartbeat suddenly raced and her mind afforded her a brief piece of clarity. Malfoy really was sex on a stick. Gluttonous sugary sex on a stick, feels good going down and headed straight for your thighs. She flushed a brilliant red at that thought, but thankfully Malfoy didn't see. At the moment he was brushing back a lock of hair from the right side of her neck. Softly, oh so softly, his lips met the patch of skin beneath her earlobe.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!

Hermione jumped back as if stung. "W…well, if you're so smart, how about you put your money where your mouth is then, huh?"

A look of confusion crossed his face. "This feels like dejavu. Haven't I already done this? Fine, how do you propose we do this?"

Thinking fast, Hermione accioed a coffee table and her wizard chess set to stand in front of them. A fire gleamed in her eye.

"You up for it pretty boy? Shall we test your manhood?"

"I can think of other more concrete ways to test my 'manhood' and like I said, you are welcome to help me." He ran a hand through his hair offhand as his predatory stare burned into her.

Hermione was never one to back down… would you expect any less from the female protagonist? She met his stare, looking braver than she suddenly felt around him. There was something so animalistic about him right now that she didn't entirely hate.

"Answer the question Malfoy, are you up to it or not?"

Malfoy's answer was to sit down in front of the chess set and ask, "White or black Granger?"

Hermione sat down in turn and rotated the board so that the white pieces were in front of her.

"It's seems wrong to deprive you of the black team Malfoy. They do suit you so well."

* * *

A/N: First of all, I'd like to say I appreciate each and every one who reads this story, and especially those who reviewed. It means a lot! Secondly, I am at somewhat of a precipice with this story. See, I have an original idea of where I roughly want this story to go but a more risque idea has popped into my head recently. Of course I could just write this idea in a new story because I think this deviation from the original plot line would be better suited to an older Hermione/Draco story. So I have an option of going for my 'safer but more realistic character portrayal' plot line (i.e. tortured loveable Draco), or the more unrealistic plotline (i.e. Draco, sex god and cad). If I stick to the original plotline, i'll update quicker. I don't know... Well, if anyone has any imput, I'd love to hear it... I awwwl konfused... 


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